Tesla’s paradox: this is a rocket, you are “spam in a can”


Elon Musk Started production last night Tesla Model S Plaid high-performance sedan, As always, his standing procedure is the most advanced in a series: the car will complete 0 to 60 in 1.99 seconds-make sure to keep the 2 second mark to the second decimal place. It will complete a quarter mile in 9.23 seconds. It can reach 200 miles per hour. It produces more than 1,000 horsepower, and there are 20 horsepower. Every benchmark is checked: it is the fastest. This is the safest. this is the best.It is the standard bearer of the future Electric car It’s “Kick Ass”.Speech reached its peak electric car And peak Elon.

Beyond performance, Musk then focused on the ability of the car to read our thoughts. It lacks control-because in his view, “input is wrong.” The car will recognize your approach and let you in. It doesn’t need to be opened because, hey, you got in the car, did you, so you have to plan to go somewhere. It no longer has a gear lever or any physical controls, because the car will decide whether you want to go forward or backward. It will determine the navigation route based on your calendar for the day. (God bless you forgot to put something on your calendar.) It will eagerly predict your actions, and it will cache everything you do.It is set up to provide a “home theater experience” of watching movies and playing video games, allowing you to rest in a stylish cabin while Tesla Drive.

So this is the problem.

As NASA is developing HG In order to send the first Americans into space, engineers simulated the spacecraft without control. The flight will be automated, with the spacecraft commanded from the ground. There is no need for human piloting-not to mention the strict astronaut selection process selected Mercury 7 from experienced test pilots.In the “key scenes”The right thing,” the astronauts protested loudly. They would never let themselves be shot into space like “canned garbage”.

When John Glenn had a thruster failure during orbital flight on Friendship 7, he took manual control. Then the mission control center detected a problem with the spacecraft’s heat shield, and he guided the spacecraft through reentry, proving the value of a skilled pilot rather than a passive passenger. Later on Gemini 8, Neil Armstrong took control of a spacecraft that was spinning out of control a few seconds after a power outage, solving a fatal problem that computers could not solve. This may be the moment to ensure that he continues to command Apollo 11, his driving experience has once again avoided disasters, and there is still a few seconds of fuel on landing.

Not every driver on the road is an astronaut. Many drivers certainly don’t have something suitable. If one day, the car will drive itself, it might be a good idea. These people are welcome to sit down and play video games. But those drivers who don’t want, need, or should be close to a 2-second car. (Yes, I am rounding up.)

On the other hand, drivers who covet the claimed performance capabilities Model Grid… well, they thought drive. They don’t want a car without a control device.Or a bogie that ties their arms into a knot-whether it breaks or not 2 For a few seconds or not, it is safe to assume that this will be a three-motor monster on the straight, but the driver wants the curve. They have no time to watch movies and games.drive Yes game. Many of us are still accustomed to the fact that manual transmissions are almost extinct. We are not interested in letting the car decide whether we move forward or backward. In fact, for anyone who likes to drive, this function alone should be a spoiler.

If one day Tesla could drive itself-and once again be clear to anyone under the illusion of a starry sky, now Can’t drive without Tesla — Of course, it will provide you with driver services at a leisurely speed, and all these performance projects will be meaningless. Or, a driver, a real driver, might be angry at his denied control and turn off the Hal 9000 as much as possible and let the car drive like hell. In any use case, a bunch of claimed features and the dollars spent on these features will be wasted.

So who is this car suitable for? Are you a driver? Or are you spam?

Buyers may be neither-the rich see it as a party trick, they will chant performance numbers and keen on gimmicks, and are willing to ignore the paradox of the core of the machine. This must be a halo car.With Model S and X type In the context of a sharp decline-Tesla delivered only 2,020 Model S/X in the first quarter, and Porsche 9,072 sold Taikang At the same time-it is hard to imagine that a car that contradicts itself would have such a broad appeal.





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